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Cock Thirsty

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[22 Mar 2007|02:59pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Ok so I havn't updated in a month.
Not much has happened. I've been a big blundering mess of emotion, but what else is new. Alex is no longer in my life (thank god) and hopefully will recieving some wonderfully bad karma. I definitely am still keen on not dating. Life is just that much more simpler, and at this time in my life, simplicity is a fucking treat!

Im really confused about my body right now.. im starting to get really pissed off to be compltely honest. I hardly eat a fucking thing, and I work physical labour 5 days a week at the depo, and have been since august, and i've cut back on drinking for a while, and I havn't even dropped a fucking pound. So I made an appointment with a doctor for tomorrow to ask what the fuck is up with that.

Everything else seems to be going fairly well. With the not drinking and not having Alex around i've been able to put my money towards some more useful important things. Got my computer fixed, and hooked up to the internet so I have more freedom with my own computer. I think i'll get some more stuff added onto it soon just so I have a better system going on, y'know. Also I gave my digital Camera to Brian when he came over today to fix 'er up!

Anywho today's my birthday. I got my gift from my mom last weekend when I went to Nelson. She gave me some money to go towards my boots. I got a pair of 20 eyelet steel toe demonias! Fuck yeah! They're so sexy. I've even slept with them on a few times. Ha! Boooooots. I also got myself an early birthday present... some new ink. However the one on my bicep isn't healing very happily and im pretty fucking choked. It's a picture that Jordan drew for me about a year ago. Hopefully i'll be seeing that boy pretty soon. If he's good I might be able to see him in 7 months!

I guess thats all for now..

2 |Oh bondage up yours

waking up all alone [23 Feb 2007|10:44pm]
[ mood | home ]

Holy shit, shit's been fucked lately.

I just repierced my bridge tonight. Horray for boredom. I think Alex is getting sick of me or something. Whenever he goes out with other people he just decides not to call for like four days. Who does that?! I dunno. I shouldn't really give a shit, because its not really a huge deal. It was getting hard to breathe with him calling me and coming over every fucking day. Now I kinda feel left out.. haha!
Fucking Miss Undecided, thats me.

Anyways this past month has probably been the worst month, EVER. I've been nothing but incredibly emotional, and miserable. Only able to stay happy for a day at a time. Everything makes me want to cry, and I swear to fucking god i'm not pregnant! I don't even have enough sex to worry about that. Which brings me to my next point.. Alex needs more of a labido. Im gonna have to work on that one. I mean once a month isn't cutting it. Sorry honey, I got laid more when I was single. (mostly by you, but still!!) I think I still hate this relationship thing. It makes me care too much. And me caring too much is a scary thing. Trust me.

All I have to say is i'm happy I have two vibrators. Sometimes I have better sex all alone.

On another random note. I can't fucking wait for St patty's day!!!! Alex, Zak, Vanessa and I are going to Nelson for the weekend. I'm getting my army men tattoos on my neck, and we're getting hammered all weekend. I'm fucking stoked!! Then five days later.. my birthday. Mommy's gonna spoil me, I know it. <3! Yay.

PS. I LOST MY FUCKING IPOD AND I REALLY WANT TO KILL MYSELF. I remember when I first got it and Amy said when her's broke she cried- I kinda thought to myself "That's rediculous!! What a loser!! haha!" But i'm not going to lie.. i've cried a few times over my poor lost little defenceless ipod. *sulks*

I wish you'd take my radio to bathe with you.. plugged in and ready to fall.

Oh bondage up yours

It's still rock 'n roll to me. [03 Feb 2007|10:18pm]
[ mood | permiscuous ]


Oh Alex what have you done to me. Drinking by myself listening to crappy 80's music waiting for Alex to get off work. Going to his friend Nigger's tonight, apparently. This should be interesting.
All I know is I better get laid pretty soon. Hello, my period is gone, AND I'M HORNY!!

I took my recycling in today. I got $43 bucks. Actually it was $43.80. Then I went to the liquor store and spent $42.70. How awesome is that. I bought a 15 case of LG, 6 okanagan crisp apple, and a 6 pack of bullmax in honour of Jordan. Can't seem to get that boy off my mind these days. I miss him desperately.

Also I pierced Nicole's lip today. WHAT A SEXY BITCH. It looks hawt. Had some issues with the threading on the barbell. I think im going to have to find a new wholesaler, i'm really not too impressed with the quality of the threading on my jewelry. Blah!

I took some hot new pictures but telus is being a fag and I can't view my photoalbum.

2 |Oh bondage up yours

[25 Jan 2007|06:33pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Want to hear about my day?
Too fuckin' bad you're gonna anyways.

Ok so the day started out beautifully. Woke up beside Alex all cuddled up to me (Awww..) Got out of bed at a decent time. Had plenty of time to get ready, made a fucking wicked omelette I ate on a Bagel with Garlic cream cheese. Fucking delicious. Got to work on time, and in an awesome mood.

As soon as I get to work my boss compliments on my timing (i'm almost always 10 minutes late) and then I asked where Angel and Andrew were, and both of them hadn't showed yet. So I call Angel and she just woke up so I told her to get her ass in gear because Andrew was late too, and if she hurried she could get a ride with him. So I get a-workin and an hour later they show up.

Here's where the story gets good. So i'm carrying to 12 cases to the palate to stack, and one of them was fuckin soaked and the bottles started falling out the bottom so I put down the other case and tilted it forward so I didn't break anymore, and they were all half full, so now im COMPLETELY SOAKED from my tits down. Like... looked like i'd just fell face down in a puddle. I keep my cool because i was still in a relatively good mood, and keep working until break. Then I go into the lunchroom and have my snack and show Dave (my boss) my little mis-hap and he goes "Oh, well its not really busy right now so i'll get Keith on till and i'll take you home quick and get you changed, because you're gonna freeze!" (seeing as we basically work outside-- a big fucking cold ass warehouse. So I accept because my shoulder was in pain so i figured i could grab some muscle relaxant to get through the day. Dave drops me off at the top of my driveway because he dosn't have winter tires and my driveway is basically a big icey sheet of death. So I walk down, get changed- call his cell and start walking back. On my way down our stairs outside I fucking slip and fall on my back and knock the wind out of my self, but I tell myself to suck it up and get up and try to hold the tears in. I told Dave that that's #2, and back luck happens in 3's so there was something else just waiting to happen. I get back to work, and Andrew said he'd stack for the rest of the day to give my shoulders a break, so I start sorting coolers, and pull a case of beer down from my palate, and BANG, a fuckin case falls RIGHT on the ball of my ankle. This is where I lost it. I scream "AH, FUCK!!" in more of a hurt way than I usually say it, and start bawling. Angel comes over to see if i'm alright and I just suck it up and keep sorting. This was pretty much the end. I couldn't stop crying for the next hour of the shift, and finally at lunch time Marc told Dave to just send me home.

So I called my dad and told him to take me to Alex's house. So he dropped me off and I went to his appartment and told him my boss sent me home and he goes "for being 3 minutes late this morning?" I laughed and shook my head and told him the story of my shitty day. We both napped for a while and I had a beer and a smoke to calm me down and then fell asleep on his couch and he went to work. Woke up not to long ago and now i'm home.

I'm thinking on saying fuck work tomorrow- I need a fucking day of rest. Or three. So i'm gonna call my boss and tell him I probably won't be into work tomorrow. He told me we'd probably have next friday off, anyways, and if we get behind then i've got no problems working a saturday and he already knows that.

What a fuckin day.

Oh bondage up yours

build me up buttercup [23 Jan 2007|05:17pm]
So.. this is wierd.. but i guess i'm not single anymore. I don't really know what to think of the whole situation.. and it feels really awkward saying "I have a boyfriend." This'll take some getting used to. I already miss my independance.

It's been three days and we already got in a fight.. haha! Acutally it's more like Alex got way hammered at my house on sunday and I went to sleep because i had to work the next day and I got awakened at 2am to Alex up drinking with my sister, Steve, and Kevin.


I asked my sister what the fuck was going on and she told Alex I was pissed so he comes in a starts being all cute licking my neck and stuff and I was trying not to get sucked in and I told him i was pissed off and if he wanted to party to take the party to his place. So thats just what they did.

Last night I got home from work, took a bath, got a phonecall from him saying "Hey it's a big drunkfest, so you'd better fucking come over." And I got all mad again and said "Yeah, im not going. I'm fucking choked." Typical male, he has no idea why im mad so I told him to call me when he's sober. Then he hung up. And I got all upset and started bawling then my sister called and I was almost hysteric and she said she was gonna come home to talk to me and I guess I fell asleep and she didn't even bother coming to talk to me when she got home. I feel so unloved.

I dunno, i'm still not so happy about the whole situation, but I really don't want to be super bitch girlfriend that gets mad at everything.

On another note I guess he's been super stoked, bragging to everyone about how he has such an awesome girlfriend.
6 |Oh bondage up yours

[19 Jan 2007|01:03pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Holy shit last night was fucking crazy. I went for dinner with Angel at the haucienda. It was DEAD. After we finished dinner all these guys from out of town that are here selling trucks came to drink with us. Probably about ten 28 and up guys dressed incredibly well with lots of money. However they were hilarious and most of then tried to fuck me. I've never had so much freakin attention. After we drank at the Hauc we went to Jimmys pub and they dropped me of with one of the dudes and he bought me drinks till everyone got back. Then the dude says to me "so, do I have a chance?" and he was seriously so ugly but i was being sweet to get more drinks.. HAHA.. and i was like "we'll see where the night takes us." Then the really fucking hott guy with a great body starts winking at me and shit and he calls me over to the bar to do a shot of tequila with him. Then he starts getting touchy and standing all close and whispers in my ear "So, we think you're the one that's going to make it happen tonight." I laughed and said "OH REALLY." Then walked away. It was funny. Anyways a bunch of them wanted me to go get some blow for them so I took them to Alex's appartment building and was going to get Alex to get it but he was sleeping so I went over to Braiden's and he came outside to meet them. Thats where everything turned into a gong show. I thought we were leaving right away and buddy had some serious wandering hands so I went up to Alex's to see if he was up because I saw lights in his appartment. He answered the door all angrily and said i woke him up so i asked him to come out and drink so he comes out and we get in the truck and I guess braiden said we were just going to wait until they got the hookup.. anyways long story short Alex went back home, they boys ended up at Braiden's doing rails and I stood there with my arms crossed in a fucking bad mood. Thats when I realized I like Alex a lot more than I thought I did. See.. I probably would have been all over it getting the attention and massages of hot older men buying me lots of drinks and doing some nose candy.. but all I could think about was Alex.

Now im incredibly confused.

6 |Oh bondage up yours

I don't need anyone!! I dont need anyone to hate the world with me!! [11 Jan 2007|08:59pm]
Alex has been spending almost every night at my house for the past two weeks. This is so strange. I kinda like this boy. I think he kinda likes me too. He smells so good when I cuddle and he holds me. There is nothing quite like sharing your bed with a cute boy that smells good. So basically, I'm getting a lot less sleep but I wake up with a smile on my face. I don't know what this is. We both keep telling everyone we arn't 'dating.' Technically we arn't, I mean, we don't go out on dates. We just spend all of our spare time together and do nothing but get way too excited about music, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, watch movies and tell eachother fun stories that don't include one another.

However. I really fucking miss Jordan. I was missing him a lot last night, and decided to put up some pictures on my wall. So now i've got his pictures he drew for me from jail, the tattoo im getting done that he drew, and a picture of him in my old house passed out on my favorite chair with a pot of beans in his hands.

I think I have to shit. I've been waiting for this shit all fucking day...... Ok, yeah. That felt good.

In other news. Well, there really isn't much else to say. I'm planning on saving a bit of money up to get my licence back and a vehicle and shit. Hopefully by April I shall be able to drive legally by myself.
1 |Oh bondage up yours

[31 Dec 2006|03:34pm]
Ok so I've a few things to update on. Holy shit its been a while. I don't even know where to start. Still doing a whole lot of nothing here, working, drinking, the usual. I've been spending a lot of time with Alex. He spent christmas eve with me then we went to his place and spent christmas day with his parents. I fucking love his parents, they're amazing. Then we came back to my place and had margaritas with my family, which was followed by the best sex i think i've ever had. Yeah, im kinda liking this guy too much. I dunno.

So far I have no plans for new years. I started drinking at 2 in the afternoon. Went for a ride on the quad. OH yes. My dad bought a quad for christmas. I'm so fucking addicted. I flipped that bitch over the first day I went on it when I went over a jump way too fucking fast. Trying to figure out what the hell is going on tonight. I'm most definitely not going to the bar. I hate the bar nowadays. I'd rather drink at someone's house.

blah blah blah i don't konw what im talking about naymore becuse i left and drank a bunch of booze and ca' t reammber what i was going to write. oh well. happy fuckin new years and shit get laid get CRUNK.

dont' fall on ice like me.. see ya on the flip side
1 |Oh bondage up yours

[28 Sep 2006|07:33pm]
I had a very interesting weekend in Nelson. Basically I live there on weekends, and am gonna be setting up camp at the squat. Beds made out of palats and underlay. Furniture stolen from thrift shops. A cooler in the corner as a toilet. Candles and holes in the roof as lighting, and a hole in a fence and ultra super sneakyness upon entry. Basically my dream home. Not to mention all the dirty street kids that live there. Rob, Jeremy, Mary, Taylor, Dave, Joe, Selena, and four dogs. Not everyone stays everynight, but most people are around.

Dave and I drank my 60 of whisky all in a few hours on friday night. Went adventuring until Rob found us drunkenly trying to get in a boxcar of a train. Dave has been trying to get in my pants for the longest time, and when we were drunk asked me "SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FUCK ME!?" And I threw him down on the ground and started to do my business until I realized we were both too drunk to fuck. We passed out and woke up at 5am wondering how the fuck we got to a field by a lake and why we slept there. Ventured back to the squat and fell asleep and awoke in Dave's arms. I love how Dave looks like a criminal, but cuddles like a girl.

The rest of the weekend consisted of drinking, drinking, drinking, and adventuring with Rob and Jeremy. I got a couple new nicknames. Dave calls me "Cheeks" because my cheeks glow when I drink, and also because they're pierced, Rob calls me Slamber because I slam my beer (Brenden gave me this nickname a while back), and Jeremy calls me "Swiss Army Tits" because I have so much shit hidden away in my breasts. Rob, Jeremy, and I commondeered a boat, and found a cool place to camp way out of town, a bomb, a telescope, and a chairlift to get across the lake. Was late to catch the greyhound and ran 45 minutes along the railroad tracks to get back into town. I made it just on time, chugged some jack daniels, and passed out, and woke up in Cranbrook. Fucking bus driver didn't do a passenger count.

Anyways... before I left Nelson I got Dave's number from Mary, and finally decided to call him yesterday. His phone was off so I left a really stupid drunk message. He called me an hour later and told me he'd stop in Creston to visit me one his way back from Calgary in about four days. So I think im going to have to rape him. On Angels chair. Tied up.

Fake DimplesCollapse )
3 |Oh bondage up yours

[21 Sep 2006|09:43pm]
So I pierced my cheeks a few nights ago. My face is swollen and feels like I have blown up about 100 balloons consecutively.

I'm going to Nelson tomorrow. Hopefully going to straighten things out that need to be, and also going to try to convince Rob to come to Edmonton with me.

Work is amazing. I love my job, and the people I work with. Montana, Zak, and Eric are apparently going to be starting work on saturdays and some days after school. Thats fucking wicked. I love all three of them.

I bought a 60 of whisky tonight. Im going to be fucking hammered tomorrow.
This weekend better be good.
1 |Oh bondage up yours

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